- puranao pircaya ka Ahsaasa

dadr rolavao sToSana sao baahr inaklakr maOMnao rajaoSvar ko Gar ko ilae TO@saI laI. basaaoM ko baaro maoM maorI kao[- jaanakarI zIk sao nahIM qaI. mauJao yah ja,$r yaad hO ik ]nako Gar ko pasa ivajaya¸ AMbar AaOr Aa^skr isanaomaa ha^la qao. jahaM sao ]nako makana maoM dao imanaT maoM pOdla phuMcaa jaa sakta qaa. TO@saI mauJao ]nako izkanao kI Aaor ilae jaa rhI qaI magar maora mana T/ona maoM GaTo GaTnaaËma maoM hI [sa trh ]laJaa qaa ik glaaina hao rhI qaI. @yaa ja,$rt qaI mauJao jauAa Kolanao kI ?

ek saca hmaoSaa maoro saaqa rha hO. maOM BaivaYya maoM nahIM jaIta , , ,AtIt Agar maorI pUMjaI rha hO tao vat-maana fkIrI kao saaqa ilae saaqa–saaqa calata rha hO. naa naa krnao ko baad BaI maOM taSa ko p%taoM kI Aaor baZ, gayaa qaa AaOr ]saI trh hara ijasa trh p%to lagaa kr Apnao hI saaqa ko laaogaaoM nao mauJao ekbaar gaOMgaTaok maoM hrayaa qaa AaOr maOM ek caala pr tIna mahInaaoM ko vaotna ko Alaavaa ApnaI ek maarvaaD,I daost ko yahaM sao rat ko dao bajao maMgavaae dao hja,ar $pyao har gayaa qaa.  yah phlaa Avasar qaa ik maOM taSa ko tIna p%taoM ko Kola sao ivart huAa qaa.  dUsaro idna sao maorI dao mahInaaoM kI CuiT\TyaaM Sau$ hao rhI qaIM AaOr maOM KalaI haqa ]sasao phlao hI hao gayaa qaa.  maOMnao ApnaI daost saumana sao tIna hja,ar $pyao AaOr ilae.  vah kja-. maOMnao paMca vaYa- baad sana\ 1987 maoM ]tara qaa. saumana nao kBaI mauJao pOsaaoM kI yaad nahIM idlaa[- magar vao pOsao hmaoSaa maorI CatI pr Baar kI trh lado qao.  KOr  , , ,

laaogaaoM kao laga sakta hO ik poSao sao AQyaapk haoto hue Saraba–isagaroT pInao AaOr jaue ko Kola maoM ]laJanaovaalao vyai@t kI Aa%makqaa maoM 'cair~' tao hO hI nahIM.  ifr ]sao pZ,nao AaOr ]sasao kuC jaananao kI ja,$rt @yaa hO! maOM svaIkarta hUM ik maorI Aa%makqaa saukmaao-M kI gaaqaa nahIM hO.  maOMnao saukma- ike hI nahIM hOM.  eosaa davaa jaao krta hO vah safod JaUz baaolata hO. yah rajaond` baabaU yaa maha%maa gaaMQaI kI Aa%makqaa–saI BaI nahIM hO ik Aapkao baD,o–baD,o imaSana imalaoM.  ek Aama AadmaI AaOr Adnao [Msaana sao Aaja ko daOr maoM baD,o imaSanaaoM kI ]mmaId BaI nahIM krnaI caaihe.  [saka zoka tao sana\ 1952 ko baad sao hI ivaQaana saBaaAaoM AaOr laaok saBaa maoM ek baar BaI caunao gae sadsyaaoM Aqavaa ]nako naatI–paotaoM nao puStOnaI hk, kI trh pa ilayaa. [sailae maorI Aa%makqaa maoM Aapkao kuC BaI eosaa nahIM imalaogaa jaao cair~ inamaa-Na kI iSaxaa do.  duinayaa ijasao cair~ kI saM&a dotI hO vah maoro pasa nahIM hO  , , ,

maOM AityaaoM sao gauja,ra huAa [nasaana hUM.  Saraba, , ,AaOrt , , ,AaOr naSaa , , , yao saba maorI ija,ndgaI kao Aar–par krko inakla gae hOM , , ,zhra kao[- BaI nahIM , , ,Aaja tk nahIM samaJa payaa ik hr caIja, kI hd sao @yaaoM gauja,r jaata hUM. maaohbbat hao yaa naf,rt maoro ilae [naka kao[- Aaor–Caor nahIM haota. bahut baar saaocaa hO ik naÔrt sao tao }pr ]zUM. laoikna maOM zhra kmaja,aor AadmaI. kaoiSaSaoM baokar hao jaatI hOM. 

kBaI Ch pOkoT isagaroT raoja, pIta qaa. Aba ek pIta hUM.  kBaI Saraba kI baaotla caaObaIsa GaNTaoM ko ilae kma pD,tI qaI. Aba caar–paMca idna cala jaatI hO.  kBaI AaOrt KaojanaI pD,tI qaI , , ,Aba ibanaa Kaojao imala jaatI hO , , , eosaa kh kr na tao maOM gaaOrvaainvat haonaa caahta hUM AaOr na is~yaaoM kao Apmaainat krnaa maora ]d\doSya hO.  yah eosaI hk,Ik,t hO ijasao Aap saba jaanato hOM.  ek va@,t qaa ik BaUK Gar kao lagatI qaI.  pirvaar kao lagatI qaI.  ]sa Gar–pirvaar maoM AaOrt BaI haotI qaI.  magar va@,t badla gayaa.  Aba AaOrt kao Alaga sao BaI BaUK laganao lagaI hO. vah BaUK Agar tna kI yaa mana kI haotI tao Saayad naaObat yahaM tk na AatI ik duinayaa ko p`ayaÁ saBaI doSaaoM maoM AaOrt haoma DoilavarI kI trh imalanao lagatI. ivalaaisata kI BaUK nao AaOrt kao [-maana ko rasto sao hTa idyaa. poT kaTkr poT Zknaa vah BaUla caukI hO. Aba tao poT–pIz hI nahIM¸ jaaMGaoM tk Kaolakr vah ijasa trh GaUma rhI hO ]samaoM poT kI BaUK khIM Saaimala hI nahIM hO. doh ]sako ilae kccaa saamaana hO AaOr ]saka vyaapar¸ ]Vaoga. maOM [sa ]Vaoga kI tlahTI tk jaakr BaI Aba tk nahIM jaana payaa ik saRiYT ko sabasao puranao vyaapar kI AaiK,rI hd @yaa hO, , ,.  AadmaI kusaMgait maoM ibagaD,ta hO AaOr AaOrt doKa–doKI. BaaojapurI maoM ek gaIt kBaI saunaa qaa 'kmaa , , ,la, , , A , , ,gaaorI nakdo , , ,e , , ,jaba lao baa javainayaaM , , ,' maOMnao javaana AaOrtaoM kao ApnaI javaanaI ko ibaCD,nao ko AaiK,rI ibandu tk ApnaI kImat vasaUlanao kI kaoiSaSa krto hue doKa hO AaOr ]sa ivandu ko gauja,r jaanao ko baad kmaa[- ko ilae CTpTato hue BaI. magar QaMQaa CaoD,nao kI gaustaKI ]nasao nahIM hao saktI , , ,KOr¸

isai@kma eosaI jagah qaI jahaM ipta pu~ AaOr gau$ iSaYya jauAa Kolato qao. Gar ko Andr jauAa AaOr baahr fuTbaa^la.  yahI dao Kola vahaM ]na idnaaoM laaokip`ya qao. jauAa Kolanaa baura nahIM samaJaa jaata qaa.  laoikna maOM isai@kma jaanao sao pUva- hI tIna p%to kanapur maoM Kolanao lagaa qaa.  iktnaa Ajaba lagata hO. AcCa Kasaa ivaVaqaI- qaa. dao tIna T\yaUSana krta qaa. AKbaaraoM AaOr kuC pi~kaAaoM sao pairEaimak BaI gaaho bagaaho imala jaata qaa.  vah pOsaa pa^koT manaI haota qaa. ]samaoM sao BaI kuC Gar maoM donao ko baad jaao bacata vah maorI AavaargaI ko kama Aata.  halaaMik¸ Gar kao maoro pOsaaoM kI ja,$rt ]na idnaaoM ibalkula nahIM qaI magar BaartIya pirvaar kI yah ivaSaoYata hO ik laD,ka yaid dao pOsao BaI kmaata hao tao ek pOsaa tao do hI do.  daonaaoM do do tao ifr baat hI @yaa hO. zIk caaOraho pr sauQaakr itvaarI¸ kodar itvaarI¸ ]maa itvaarI¸ maurlaIQar Samaa-¸ SaiSaBaUYaNa isaMh¸ sauvaIr dasa¸ laalaa jao ena pI ko Alaavaa AaOr k[- laaoga tIna p%to Kolato.  maOM BaI haota.  maorI maaOjaUdgaI ]na laaogaaoM ko ilae [sailae BaI mah%%vapUNa- haotI qaI ik maOM qaanaa [Mcaaja- ko baccao kao T\yaUSana pZ,ata qaa. laaogaaoM ko mana maoM Dr nahIM haota qaa ik jauAa Kolato hue ]nhoM kao[- pkD,ogaa. ]nhoM ivaSvaasa qaa ik Agar pkD, BaI gae tao maorI vaja,h sao CUT jaaeMgao.  

ek baar eosaa hao BaI gayaa.  maOM gyaarh bajao rat kao AD\Do sao ]z gayaa.  Kola calata rha.  rat krIba baarh bajao puilasa ko dao isapahI vahaM phuMca gae. sauQaakr itvaarI jaao sabasao baujauga- qao¸ puilasa vaalaaoM kI zuD\DI CU–CUkr 'CaoiD, d, , ,A, , ,baabaU , , , CaoiD, d , , ,A , , ,baabaU ' krto hue inahaora krto rho laoikna vao daonaaoM sabakao qaanao lao jaanao kI ija,d pr AD,o qao.  Saayad vao Kanao–kmaanao pr ]tr Aae qao. iksaI trh ]nhoM baataoM maoM lagaae rKkr laaogaaoM nao raoko rKa.  [sa baIca sauvaIr dasa saayaikla sao haMfto hue maoro pasa phuMcaa.  caaOraho pr jaba maOM phuMcaa tao puilasa vaalaaoM nao mauJasao kha¸" maasTrjaI¸ yao laaoga Aapka naama lao rho hOM , , ,Aap jaanato hOM [na laaogaaoM kao , , ,Æ " maOMnao kha¸" CaoD,ao yaar , , ,yao saba manaaorMjana ka ihssaa hO , , ,[namaoM sao kao[- BaI jauAarI nahIM hO , , ,. saba pZ,nao–ilaKnao vaalao laD,ko hOM , , ,Gar pr iksaI ko baOz nahIM sakto tao yah caaOraha hI imalanao kI jagah hO". caaOraho pr hI sauQaakr itvaarI ka BaUsao ka Tala qaa. puilasa vaalao calao gae. rat dsa–gyaarh bajao tk tao raoja, Kola calata.  [tvaar ko idna saubah dsa–gyaarh sao Sau$ haokr saaomavaar kI saubah tk AD\Do pr garmaagarma lao–do haotI.  ek–ek¸ dao–dao $pyao ko ilae ikca–ikca haotI. caaOraha gaulaja,ar rhta.  sa$p Baa[- kI dUkana sao caaya–samaaosao Aato rhto. yah Alaga baat qaI ik rk,ma baD,I nahIM haotI qaI. tIsa caalaIsa $pyaaoM kI har–jaIt huAa krtI qaI.  laoikna ]saka naSaa GanaGaaor haota qaa. 

Aaja maOM taSa ko p%to lagaBaga nahIM CUta.  dIvaalaI ko idna BaI nahIM. laoikna jaba BaI kanapur jaata hUM tao maoro daost e ena EaIvaastva. zakur SaiSa BaUYaNa isaMh. maurlaIQar Samaa-. laalaa jao ena pI AaOr saubaIr kumaar dasa ko Alaavaa kuC AaOr ima~ taSa Kolanao AaOr ]sako ilae jagah kI vyavasqaa krnao kI ija,mmaodarI mauJapr CaoD, doto hOM.  halaaMik¸ Aba vao laaoga BaI jauAa nahIM Kolato. laoikna baItI yaadaoM kao ekbaar ifr sao taja,a krnao ko ilae baOzkI haotI hO. ek ko baad ek yaadoM ]BartI hOM.  ipTara–saa Kula jaata hO. ek pUra [tvaar maOM ]na sabako ilae Apnao Gar jauAa Kolanao kI vyavasqaa krta hUM AaOr maja,ak-maja,ak maoM saaO-pcaasa har jaata hUM.  magar yah harnaa Klata nahIM @yaaoMik maOM ]sa trh Kolata hI nahIM ijasa trh phlao Kolata qaa. ek BayaMkr duGa-Tnaa [saI Kola kao laokr sana 84 dIvaalaI ko idna hu[- qaI. saubah iksaI baat pr p%naI sao kha saunaI hao ga[- qaI.  Saama kao jaba maOM baahr khIM sao laaOTkr vamaa-jaI ko Gar gayaa tao ]nhaoMnao mauJasao kha " Apnaa kaoTa tao laokr Aae hao , , ,, , ,.  maora @yaa haogaa , , ,Aaja dUkanaoM baMd hOM , , ,"]na idnaaoM phlaI AaOr saat tarIK, ko Alaavaa %yaaoharaoM pr Saraba kI dUkanaoM baMd rhtI qaIM.  maOMnao ]nasao kha "ABaI Aata hUM , , ,ifr SaiSa BaUYaNa isaMh ko Gar calato hOM , , ,. vahaM Aapkao kaoTo Bar kI imala jaaegaI , , ," 

maOMnao Gar pr maaoTr saayaikla KD,I kI.  baoTo AnauBava kao gaaod maoM ilayaa AaOr baahr calaa Aayaa.  ]sao ilae hue hI vamaa-jaI ko saaqa zakur ko Gar jaba phuMcaa tao ek kmaro maoM jauAa cala rha qaa.  zakur kI p%naI nao AnauBava kao ApnaI gaaod maoM lao ilayaa.  ]naka baoTa Anau sao tIna–caar mahInao CaoTa qaa.  maOM jauAa Kolanao baOz gayaa AaOr vamaa-jaI pInao.  Anau saao gayaa AaOr maOM jaue maoM harta rha.  harnaa BaI jauAarI kao ]znao nahIM dota.  vamaa-jaI pIto rho. maOM [tnaa baoKbar yaa ik jaue maoM DUbaa rha ik Gar pr @yaa hao rha haogaa ]saka BaI Anaumaana nahIM lagaa saka.  ]sa rat Amaa-pur maoM balaosar ko ibarho ka Aayaaojana qaa. ]na idnaaoM ]naka bahut naama qaa. tba tk ]nhoM pd\maEaI nahIM imalaI qaI AaOr vao [tnao fUhD, BaI nahIM hue qao ijatnao Aaja hao gae hOM. KOr  , , , maOM ]nhoM saunanao ]sa idna vahaM gayaa qaa.  jaba dor rat tk maOM baoTo kao ilae Gar sao gaayaba rha tao p%naI nao phlao tao vamaa-jaI ko yahaM pta krvaayaa.  kafI dor haonao pr ]sao Sak huAa ik Saayad saubah hu[- kha saunaI vah karNa hao ik maOM baoTo kao laokr Baaga inaklaa.  jahaM balaosar ka ibarha cala rha qaa vahaM BaI Anaa]MsamaoNT krayaa gayaa ik yaid maOM vahaM hUM tao Aba saIQao Gar jaa}M , , ,maOM vahaM khaM qaa , , ,?

zakur ko Gar maoM saubah paMca bajao tk haro hue pOsao jaItnao ko ca@kr maoM jauAa Kolata rha jaba saubah hao ga[- tao Anau kao ApraQa baaoQa ko saaqa ilae hue Gar laaOTa.  khnaa na haogaa ik Gar pr phlaI baar p%naI mauJasao }McaI Aavaaja, maoM na kovala baaolaI bailk ]sanao jaao jaI maoM Aayaa vah kha.  ga,latI maorI qaI.  phlaI baar vah pagalapna maoM maorI tlaaSa maoM vamaa-jaI ko Gar tk ]sa rat k[- baar ga[-. maOM ]sako badhvaasa haonao ka karNa Saayad kma qaa¸ baoTa AnauBava j,yaada qaa.  jaao kuC baIvaI nao }McaI Aavaaja, maoM kha ]sao maOMnao saunaa.  halaaMik , , ,yah maora svaBaava nahIM hO. iksaI kI }McaI Aavaaja, mauJao sa*ya nahIM hO. maOM dUsaraoM sao }Mcaa baaola sakta hUM.  laoikna ApnaI ga,latI haonao pr caup rhnaa yaa maafI maaMganao maoM mauJao kao[- hozI naja,r nahIM AatI , , ,

yah dUsara maaOka qaa jaba taSa Kolanao sao maOMnao taObaa kI qaI jaao T/ona maoM TUT ga[- qaI , , ,

baad maoM kBaI baIvaI nao kha ik ]sa rat ]sanao saaocaa qaa ik maOM baoTo kao laokr khIM inakla gayaa.  maOMnao ]sasao kha qaa "kBaI tumasao Alaga huAa tao tumhoM baoTo sao Alaga tao hrigaja, nahIM k$Mgaa , , ,"

AadmaI iktnao BaI pOsao khIM fUMk do. ]sao Klata nahIM.  laoikna Agar pOsao khIM igar jaaeM yaa jaue maoM har jaae tao ]sao bahut baocaOnaI haotI hO.  ek baat AaOr , , , Saraba AaOr jauAa daonaaoM hI AadmaI kao AMtt: tklaIf hI doto hOM. maaOja, maja,o yaa gama Baulaanao ko naama pr Sau$ hu[- latoM AaiK,r maoM gama banakr rh jaatI hOM. maOMnao Apnao k[- daost Kao ide jaao Saraba nao CIna ilae , , ,maOM ]nakI baatoM kBaI Aagao k$Mgaa , , ,

ASaaok nao mauJao ilaKa qaa ik Aato samaya mauJao Apnao p`maaNa p~ AaOr kuC kpD,o hI laanao hOM.  saao.maoro pasa ek CaoTa GanaGaaor laala rMga ka vaI Aa[- pI  qaa jaao p%naI kao ]sako maayako sao imalaa qaa ijasamaoM vah Apnao AaBaUYaNa AaOr kuC saaiD,yaaM rKtI qaI.  ]saI vaI Aa[- pI  kao ilae hue maOM AMbar isanaomaaha^la pr ]tra AaOr vahaM sao pOdla hI rajaoSvar ko Gar phuMcaa.  baola dbaanao ko baad jaba drvaaja,a Kulaa tao D/a[Mga$ma maoM jaao dRSya idKa vah piricat hI qaa. gaMgavaar AaOr EaImatI gaMgavaar SatrMja, Kola rho qao. [sa trh maoro Ap`%yaaiSat Aanao sao vao KuSaI imaiEat Baava sao caaOMko.  maOMnao ]nhoM batayaa ik mauJao BaI Acaanak saUcanaa imalaI AaOr maOM turnt cala pD,a. Aba AbaUQaabaI jaanao ko ilae Aayaa hUM. kla calaa jaa}Mgaa.  sabakuC ifr sao saamaanya hao gayaa.  Kola calata rha. rajaoSvar kI baoTI caaya lao Aa[-.  Kola K,%ma haonao ko baad EaImatI gaMgavaar AaOr baccao khIM baahr jaanao kao hue tao gaMgavaar nao mauJasao kha " tuma BaI doK laao , , , "

"@yaa , , ,Æ"

"iflma , , , , , ,na[- hO , , ,yahIM saamanao vaalao FlaOT maoM , , ,vaI saI  Aar  pr , , ,"

"nahIM , , ,iksaI Anajaana ko Gar maoM , , ,zIk nahIM hO , , ,"

"maoro baccaaoM ko saaqa jaaAaogao tao Anajaana kOsao hue , , ,jaaAao. .  pta nahIM galf maoM tumhoM ihndI iflma doKnao kao imalao na imalao , , ,. " ]nhaoMnao jaaor idyaa magar maOM nahIM gayaa.  vah gaaoivanda kI phlaI iflma lava 86 qaI. ]sa iflma kI hIrao[na Agar maorI yaaddaSt QaaoKa nahIM dotI tao Saayad naIlama qaI , , ,

jaba maOM iflma doKnao nahIM gayaa tao baccao mauJao AaOr rajaoSvar kao Kanaa iKlaakr calao gae.  rajaoSvar nao kha "Agalaa kaya-Ëma @yaa hO , , ,Æ"

"kla iTikT laonaa hO AaOr cala donaa hO, , ,. "

"iTikT khaM sao laonaa hO , , ,Æ"

"narImana Pvaa[MT , , ,eyar [iNDyaa ko Aa^ifsa sao , , ,"

]nhaoMnao rasta samaJaa idyaa. halaaMik ¸ rasto samaJaanao sao nahIM Kud calanao sao hI samaJa maoM Aato hOM. ]nhaoMnao Aagao kha¸"galf, maoM pOsaa bahut hO , , ,tuma rcanaakar hao , , ,tumhara Qana rcanaa hO , , ,yah baat hmaoSaa yaad rKnaa , , ,rcanaa , , ,AaOr , , ,vah BaI 'rca–rca' kr rcanaa hI kRit kao Ad\Baut\ banaata hO , , ,ilaKnaa baMd mat krnaa , , ,sauivaQaaAaoM maoM rcanaakar 'hora' jaata hO. AaOr ]sako badlao ibagaD,a AadmaI baca rhta hO , , , , , , kuMzaAaoM ko saaqa , , ,.galf maoM tumhoM sauivaQaaAaoM ka AMbaar Acaanak imala jaaegaa , , ,"

maOM ]nhoM sauna rha qaa " na[- jagah kao samaJanao kI kaoiSaSa krnaa , , ,iksaI pustkalaya ka maombar banakr AcCI pustkoM ijatnaI imala sakoM , , ,]nhoM pZ,naa , , ,baahr inaklanao ka maaOka iksmat sao imalata hO , , ,ihndI vaalaaoM kao tao vaOsao BaI nahIM , , ,yaid tuma kuC nayaa ilaK sako tao yaad ike jaaAaogao , , ,"

]nakI baatoM iktnaI saca hu[-M ¸ yah bata panaa maoro ilae kizna hO.  yah sahI hO ik mauJao sauivaQaaeM kh laUM yaa ik ]naka AMbaar kh dUM¸ ja,$r imalaIM.  magar ]saI Anaupat maoM AsauivaQaaeM BaI imalaIM.  yah hao hI nahIM sakta ik Aap iksaI isa@ko ko ek hI phlaU sao raf,ta banaae rhoM. dUsara phlaU Apnao Aap Aapko $–ba–$ KD,a imalaogaa.  KO,r¸ kBaI mahadovaI vamaa-jaI nao kha qaa ik baoTa ¸ ilaKnao sao AiQak pZ,naa ja,$rI hO  AaOr dUsarIbaar rajaoSvar nao kha qaa ik jaao ilaKnaa , , ,vah 'rca–rca' kr ilaKnaa.  daonaaoM nao jaao kha qaa¸ maOMnao ]saka iktnaa palana ikyaa yah khnaa tao Apnao mauMh imayaaM imaT\zU bananaa haogaa. laoikna ek baat saaO fIsadI saca hO ik yaid maOM doSa sao baahr na inaklaa haota tao "makD,jaala"¸ "hramaI"¸"D/a^yaivaMga laa[saoMsa"¸"kaz haoto hue laaoga"¸"iba%ta Bar kI CaokrI"¸"naatUr"¸"Pyaasa AaOr KuSabaU ka safr"¸"va@,t ka K,aOfnaak caohra"¸"jaD,aoM sao kTnao pr"¸ "AnttÁ pardSaI-" ¸"QaaobaI ka ku%ta"¸"faor hND/oD idrhmsa"¸"ba–baa^ya"¸"ho ]nnaI¸ hmaoM xamaa krao"¸"naao–baa^sa, , ,naao " ¸"ToMSana"¸ "mauja,ssmaa" ¸"laD,ka AaOr pa^TI- "jaOsaI khainayaaM maOM kBaI nahIM ilaK payaa haota.  [nako Alaavaa khainayaaM pcaasa sao }pr AaOr BaI hOM laoikna ek kD,vaa saca yah BaI hO ik ihndI ko naamacaIna vairYz AaOr nayao AalaaocakaoM kao maOM Abatk nahIM idK payaa. ibanaa iksaI AhMkar AaOr gavaao-i@t ko maOM ipClao dSak maoM ilaKI ApnaI lagaBaga saaO ko Aasa– pasa khainayaaoM kao ]na sabako Aagao foMknaa caahta hUM AaOr jaananaa caahta hUM ik kao[- [tnaa ilaKnao vaalaa daost Agar hao tao ]sao maukaibala KD,a krao , , , duSmana tao kao[- Aaja tk barabar ka imalaa nahIM. mahoSa dp-Na nao [NTrnaoT pr rajaoSa rMjana kao "ilaTroT vlaD-" ko ilae dI ga[- ApnaI p`itiËyaa maoM [-maanadarI bartto hue "hlacala" idsambar 2002 maoM kha hO ik nayao khanaIkaraoM maoM kRYNa ibaharI nao j,yaada p`Baaivat ikyaa hO , , ,

maOM iktnaa nayaa AaOr @yaaoM nayaa hUM ¸ yah baKUbaI jaanata hUM.  SaISaa [Msaana kao ApnaI hI Sa@la idKata hO.  maOM ApnaI Sa@la doK rha hUM. maora khanaI saMga`h sana 1980–85 ko Aasa–pasa hI Aa jaanaa caaihe qaa.  laoikna vaOsaa na hao panao kI k[- vaja,haoM nao mauJao baIsavaIM sadI ko ]%traQa- AaOr [@kIsavaIM sadI ko pUvaa-w- ka khanaIkar banaa idyaa.  mauJao yah maananao maoM kao[- Sama- nahIM ik Aba tk jaao kuC baohtr yaa kcara ilaKa vah AbaUQaabaI maoM hI ilaKa.  Saayad kcara hI j,yaada ilaKa.  AaOr¸ yaid AbaUQaabaI na Aata AaOr AK,baar kao hI raoja,I–raoTI ka sqaayaI ja,iryaa maana baOzta tao Saayad yah kcara BaI na ilaK pata. maOM AbaUQaabaI Aanao ko baad barsaaoM kuC nahIM ilaK saka.  laoikna jaba ek baar dubaara ilaKnaa Sau$ hao gayaa tao ifr maOM phlao jaOsaI gait pa gayaa AaOr inayaimat laoKna ka vah isalaisalaa Sau$ hao gayaa jaao jaInao ka naSaa banakr ]nhIM idnaaoM mauJamaoM samaa gayaa qaa jaba maOM kxaa 9–10 ka Ca~ qaa.  rajaoSvar nao ]sa rat yah BaI kha qaa¸" duba[- maoM saaonao ka vyaapar haota hO , , ,tuma pta krko ja,ra DI–Tola maoM ilaKnaa ¸'saaonaa Aae khaM sao ¸saaonaa jaae khaM ro' , , ,tumharo laoKaoM sao jaanakarI bahut imalatI hO , , , laaogaaoM kao maalaUma tao pD,o ik smagailaMga @yaaoM haotI hO , , ,. " 

yah BaI Aja,ba [i%tfak hO ik jaba rajaoSvar nao mauJasao yah kha qaa ]na idnaaoM maOM lagaBaga laoK hI ilaK rha qaa. laoK¸ saaxaa%kar¸ pircacaa-eM Aaid jaao "saaPtaihk ihndustana"¸ "Qama-yauga" AaOr "yaaojanaa" maoM Cp rhI qaIM. khainayaaM jaao ilaKI qaIM¸ ]namaoM sao kuC "khanaIkar"¸"maMtvya"¸"Axar"¸"?tmBara" AaOr "dOinak jaagarNa" maoM CpI qaIM ik Acaanak hI laoK ilaKnao kI maanaisakta bana ga[- qaI. ]sa samaya kI ilaKI kuC khainayaaM maOMnao p`kaSana ko ilae nahIM BaojaIM.  Aba tk BaI nahIM AaOr Aba tao Saayad ]na khainayaaoM kao khIM p`kaiSat BaI nahIM haonaa hO. maOM yah maanata hUM ik hr rcanaa kalajayaI nahIM haotI magar yah BaI saca hO ik Apnao samaya maoM ]saka mah%%va haota hO.  jaba vao khainayaaM ]na idnaaoM nahIM CpIM tao Aba ]nako Cpnao ka samaya baIt cauka hO. maOM dUsaraoM ko baaro maoM tao nahIM kh sakta laoikna Apnaa AnauBava bata sakta hUM ik AK,baar rcanaakaraoM kao Ka BaI jaato hOM. yaid kao[- laoKk¸ p~kar kI BaI BaUimaka Apnaa lao AaOr ]sao caska laga jaae tao 'baa[- laa[na' jaanao ko ca@kr maoM ]sako rcanaa%mak laoKna kao dImak laga jaatI hO. 'Aaja' maoM hr idna kao[- na kao[- fIcar¸ K,bar¸ saaxaa%kar Aaid naama ko saaqa Cp rha qaa ijasaka Apnaa hI ek naSaa qaa. ]sa naSao kI naIma baohaoSaI maoM khainayaaM ilaKnaa lagaBaga baMd hao gayaa qaa.  Saayad gaIt AaOr kivataeM BaI. tIna vaYa- phlao kI baat hO¸ EaI ihmaaMSau jaaoSaI ka p~ imalaa.  ]nhaoMnao p`vaasaI laoKkaoM kI rcanaaAaoM ka ek saMklana inakalanao kI baat batato hue tIna khainayaaM maaMgaI qaIM.  maOMnao ]nhoM rcanaaeM Baoja dIM. baad maoM tsadIk ko ilae jaba ]nhoM faona ikyaa tao pta calaa ik rcanaaeM ]nhoM imala ga[- hOM. ]saI baatcaIt ko daOrana jaba ]nhoM batayaa ik ek AK,baar ko ilae 'ka^lama' Sau$ kr rha hUM tao ]nhaoMnao kha qaa ik AK,baar ko ilae baMQa jaanao sao Apnaa maaOilak laoKna kup`Baaivat haota hO. jaba maOMnao ka^lama ilaKnaa Sau$ ikyaa tao ]nakI baat mauJao sahI lagaI qaI. 

KO,r¸ maora laoKna p`Baaivat ja,$r huAa magar baMd nahIM huAa.  Agar kuC samaya ko ilae baMd BaI huAa tao ]sako kuC karNa qao.  laoikna ijana idnaaoM maora ilaKnaa ek trh sao laaogaaoM kao baMd idKa tao ]saka karNa isaf- p`kaiSat na haonaa qaa.  maOM caupcaap ilaKta rha.  ]na idnaaoM BaI maora ilaKnaa Agar ja,arI rha tao [sailae ik maOM k[- ivaQaaAaoM maoM ilaKta hUM. jaba lagaa ik iknhIM Kasa halaataoM maoM khainayaaM nahIM ilaKI jaa saktIM tao maOMnao ]na idnaaoM isaf,- gaIt ilaKo.  ek AaOr BaI karNa hO jaao Saayad j,yaada p`BaavaSaalaI hO. maOM inayaimat ilaKta hUM. maUD jaOsao iksaI Sabd sao maora laoKna bacaa huAa hO.  maOMnao bahut rcanaakaraoM kao yah khto saunaa hO ik maUD Aanao pr hI vah kama krto hOM.  Asala maoM vao caUityaa banaato hOM. maOM maUD ko Aanao ka [ntja,ar nahIM krta.  jaba maOM baMQakr pit hao sakta hUM.  baMQakr naaOkrI kr sakta hUM tao baMQakr ilaK @yaaoM nahIM sakta. barsaaoM sao maOM rat 9 sao 12 raoja, ilaKta hUM. [sa maamalao maoM jaao samaJaaOta hao sakta hO vah basa [tnaa ik yaid maOM kuC dor sao ilaKnao baOzUM tao ifr ]tnaI dor tk ilaKUM ijatnaI dor maOMnao ilaKnao maoM kI.  maOM Apnao pairvaairk jaIvana pr BaI ilaKUMgaa laoikna yahaM yah ilaKnaa ja,$r caahta hUM ik yaid rat 9 bajao tk maOM iksaI karNa sao Gar nahIM phuMca pata tao maaobaa[la pr baIvaI ka faona Aa jaata hO¸ "khaM hOM Aap , , ,Æ Aapko ilaKnao ka samaya naYT hao rha hO , , ," maOM nahIM kh sakta ik iktnao laoKkaoM kI baIivayaaM eosaa irmaa[ND kratI hOM. , , ,

baat jaaoSaIjaI kI hao rhI qaI.  tao¸ ]nako Wara p`staivat vah saMklana Aaja tk tao inaklaa nahIM. Aagao yaid kBaI inaklaa BaI tao Saayad mauJao pta nahIM calaogaa.  kao[- dUsara bata do tao baat dUsarI hO.  kBaI–kBaI p~ ilaK kr rcanaaeM maMgaanao vaalao bahut sao saMpadk BaI rcanaa panao ko baad kuC nahIM batato.  ihndI maoM Aaja kI tarIK, maoM sava-EaI rajaond yaadva¸ rajaond`` dubao¸ p`Baakr Eaaoi~ya AaOr Da^0 jaya naarayaNaAaOr p`maaod rMjana kao CaoD,kr ek BaI saMpadk eosaa nahIM imalaa jaao rcanaa ko sToTsa ko baaro maoM batae. kuC ek tao [tnao naamaurad saMpadk imalao ik ]nako ilae BaivaYya maoM na ilaKnao kI ksama Ka laI.  maOMnao phlao hI ilaKa hO ik maOM ApnaI Aa%makqaa maoM iksaI kao hT- krnaa nahIM caahta. mauJao xait phuMca jaae tao phuMca jaae.  laoikna jaOsaa mairyala AaOr baohUda vyavahar kuC saMpadkaoM ka doKa hO ]sapr kao[- p`itiËyaa vya@t krnaa samaya naYT krnaa hO , , , maOM yah [sailae nahIM ilaK rha ik ]nhaoMnao mauJao ApnaI pi~ka maoM Capa nahIM. maOM tao sana\ 1970–71 sao Cp rha hUM jaba [na saMpadkaoM nao Saayad AaMKoM BaI nahIM KaolaI haogaI. , , ,

Aaja sa~h vaYa- sao }pr hao gae.  maOM rajaoSvar Wara sauJaayaa gayaa vah laoK nahIM ilaK saka.  iksaI AaOr nao zIk ]saI SaIYa-k sao ilaKa jaao "Qama-yauga" maoM p`kaiSat huAa.  maOMnao ]sa laoK kao AbaUQaabaI maoM jaba pZ,a tao lagaa ik ek Avasar caUk gayaa vah BaI tba jabaik AbaUQaabaI maoM saaonao kI maSahUr dUkana AjaMta jvaOlar\sa ko maailak ka laD,ka tuYaar paTnaI na kovala maoro skUla ka Ca~ rh cauka hO bailk vah maora hI nahIM¸ ihndI ka BaI ihtOYaI hO.  jaba–jaba ]sasao cacaa- kI tao ]sanao kha ik vah [sa vyavasaaya ko baaro maoM e TU ja,oD batanao kao tOyaar hO.  maOM hI ]sao va@,t nahIM do payaa. ]sasao jaba BaI iksaI ihndI–pi~ka kI Aaiqa-k sahayata ko ilae kuC kha tao ]sanao kBaI manaa nahIM ikyaa.  "kla ko ilae" pi~ka sao maOM ipClao ek dSak sao jauD,a hUM.  qaaoD,I–bahut madd jaao BaI hao patI hO¸ krta hUM.  [sa maamalao maoM jaba BaI tuYaar sao kuC kha tao ]sanao hmaoSaa maora kha maanaa hO AaOr madd kI hO. yaid [sa maamalao maoM maOM saaohnalaala Aaya- ka naama BaUla jaa}M tao kRtGnata haogaI.  ]nhaoMnao hmaoSaa "kla ko ilae" kI madd kI hO. AbaUQaabaI maoM mauJao vah Akolao eosao vyai@t imalao ijanako Gar maoM ihndI kI p`itiYzt pi~kaeM doKnao kao imalatI hOM. 

rajaoSvar ko ]na sauJaavaaoM maoM ek ihtOYaI AaOr SauBa– icantk kI BaavanaaeM qaIM magar maOM ]nako sauJaavaaoM pr na jaanao iktnao vaYaao-M tk kao[- Amala nahIM kr saka. AbaUQaabaI phuMcanao pr sabasao phlao ijana dao isqaityaaoM pr AMkuSa lagaa ]namaoM ek Saraba qaI AaOr dUsarI , , , ilaKnaa , , , [na daonaaoM isqaityaaoM pr maOM Aagao ilaKUMgaa laoikna rajaoSvar ko Gar maoM ]sa rat mauJao ehsaasa huAa ik maOM iksaI puranao pircaya ko ehsaasa sao gauja,r rha hUM. kao[- iksaI ka haqa pkD ,kr ilaKvaa nahIM sakta laoikna kao[- iksaI kI p`orNaa tao bana hI sakta hO.  maOMnao ilaKnaa baMd nahIM ikyaa.  maaM nao kha qaa.  maorI p`oimaka nao kha qaa.  kuC ima~aoM nao kha qaa.  baIvaI nao kha qaa.  rajaoSvar nao kha qaa. magar yah khnaa BaI bahut Alaga–Alaga qaa. jahaM sabako khnao maoM AnauraoQa qaa.  Aaga`h qaa. vahIM rajaoSvar ko khnao maoM ek AadoSa Jalaka qaa.  

maOM nahIM jaanata ik isataro @yaa khto hOM , , , maOMnao phlao hI ilaKa hO ik mauJao jyaaoitiYayaaoM sao j,yaada Anauraga nahIM hO. saca tao yah hO ik mauJao ]nasao ]tnaa hI Dr lagata hO ijatnaa iksaI baImaar kao Da^@TraoM AaOr dvaaAaoM sao.  magar [Msaana kao zIk tao dvaaeM AaOr duAaeM hI krtI hOM. sana 1982 kI baat hO.  maoro saInao maoM baaM[- trf bahut dd- haonao lagaa. dd- phlao BaI ]zta qaa laoikna tIna–caar saokoND ko baad K,%ma hao jaata qaa.  eosaa k[- saalaaoM sao cala rha qaa.  Acaanak hI dd- haota AaOr saaMsa iKMca jaatI.  ifr kuC plaaoM maoM saba kuC saamaanya hao jaata.  magar ]sa baar [tnaa Bayaanak dd- ik saaMsa laonaa mauiSkla hao gayaa.  maOM tikyaa saInao maoM dbaa kr mauMh sao saaMsa laonao kI kaoiSaSa krto hue jaI rha qaa. , , ,skUla sao CuT\TI ilae kmaro pr saat idna sao pD,a qaa.  skUla kI CuT\TI ko baad ima ivak- jaba kmaro pr Aae tao baaolao¸" kba tk kmaro maoM pD,o rhaogaoÆ saat idna tao hao gae kmaro maoM pD,o–pD,o  , , ,calaao¸ baahr GaUmakr Aato hOM , , ,"

"naIcao jaanaa tao Aao , , ,@, , ,@, , ,ko , , ,Aasaana hO , , ,magar saIiZ,yaaM caZ,kr }pr vaapsa Aanaa bahut tklaIf,doh hO , , ,maOM nahIM caZ, pa}Mgaa , , ," maOMnao ]nakI Aaor Asahaya dRiYT sao doKto hue kha. 

"calaao¸ Aa jaaAaogao , , ,nahIM Aa paAaogao tao maOM ]zakr lao Aa}Mgaa , , ,"

maOM ]nako saaqa QaIro–QaIro saIiZ,yaaM ]tr kr baaja,ar gayaa.  baIca baaja,ar maoM ek naMga–QaDM,ga naagaa baabaa maoro saamanao lagaBaga rasta raokto hue imalaa AaOr baaolaa¸"saInao maoM bahut dd- hO  , , ,Æ"

]sako pUCnao pr maOM caaOMka ik yah kOsaI AnahaonaI hO.  maOMnao kha¸"baabaa¸ maorI jaana jaa rhI hO , , , , , ,saat idnaaoM sao Baugat rha hUM , , ,. "

"caaya iplaa sakto hao , , ,Æ"

maOMnao gaOMgaTaok kI baaja,ar maoM ek dUkana ko maailak ko baoTo narpt isaMGaI sao jayaEaI haoTola ka ek kmara Kaola donao kao kha. yah haoTola ]naka hI qaa laoikna tba tk haoTola ka ]d\GaaTna BaI nahIM huAa qaa. narpt nao ek kmara Kulavaa idyaa ijasamaoM ima ivak- AaOr baabaa ko saaqa maOM baOza. haoTola ko kmaro maoM ]sa naagaa baabaa nao jaao kha vah maorI ija,ndgaI maoM ek saca banakr rh gayaa hO.  ]sao khUM tao BaI ApnaaoM ko baaro maoM hI j,yaada saaocanaa pD,ta hO , , ,laoikna duK Baaoganaa BaI tao Apnao hI ihssao Aata hO , , , 

naagaa baabaa nao ek $d`axa idyaa AaOr kha¸"[sao Aaja rat dayaIM baaMh maoM phnaao , , ,kla sao kalao Qaagao maoM Dala laonaa , , ,ifr galao maoM QaarNa krnaa , , ,ija,ndgaI Bar saInao maoM dd- nahI haogaa. . , , , Aba ek kagaja, dao , , ,safod , , ," maOMnao ]nhoM ek safod kagaja, ka TukD,a idyaa.  ]nhaoMnao ]sao mauJao vaapsa qamaato hue kha¸"Aba mauT\zI baMd krao , , ," maOMnao ]nhoM mauT\zI baMd krko idKayaa. ]nhaoMnao kha ¸"Aba Kaolaao , , , " [samaoM ek Axar idKogaa , , ,[sa Axar sao Sau$ haonao vaalao naama ko laaoga tumhoM hr }Mcaa[- tk caZ,anao kI pUrI kaoiSaSa kroMgao , , ,hr samBava kaoiSaSa , , ,"

maOMnao mauT\zI KaolaI tao kagaja, pr ek Axar AMga`oja,I mao ilaKa payaa 'R' , , ,

baabaa nao Aagao kha¸"Aba ifr mauT\zI baMd krao , , ,AaOr Kaolaao , , ,Aba jaao Axar Aaegaa , , ,[sa naama ko laaoga tumhoM duK doMgao , , ,eosaa duK jaao tumhoM yaatnaa kI saImaahIna ~asaidyaaoM sao gauja,ar dogaa , , ,"

maOMnao mauT\zI KaolaI tao jaao Axar ilaKa imalaa vah 'M' inaklaa. , , ,

maora isar GaUma gayaa.  mauJao vaao saba laaoga yaad Aae ijanhaoMnao maorI ija,ndgaI maoM tba tk Apnao sakara%mak AaOr nakara%mak BaUimakaeM inaBaayaI qaIM.  @yaa yah saMyaaoga qaa ik Aaja BaI hO , , ,maOM ijanaka snaohakaMxaI hUM ]na sabako naamaaoM kI Sau$Aat maoM R AaOr ijanhaoMnao mauJao duK idyaa ]nako naamaaoM maoM M kI Qvaina p`mauK rhI hO , , ,maoro saInao maoM vaOsaa da$Na dd- ifr kBaI nahIM huAa , , ,

rajaoSvar BaI maorI p`orNaaAaoM maoM sao ek hOM , , ,

Aaja [tnao vaYaao-MM baad Apnao AnauBava sao kh sakta hUM ik p`orNaa bananao na bananao ko ca@kr maoM kBaI–kBaI ga,lat haqa pkD, maoM Aa jaato hOM.  laD,akU haqa¸  jaao ija,d krto hOM ik vao duinayaa maoM sabasao saundr haqa hOM , , ,halaaMik¸ ]na haqaaoM sao rcanaa nahIM¸ ivaQvaMsa haota hO.  Apnaa BaI¸ dUsaraoM ka BaI AaOr ]naka BaI , , , , , ,ijanhoM vao banaanaa caahto hOM , , ,maOMnao eosaI kaoiSaSaaoM ka natIja,a doKa hO , , ,

BaIK BaI saupa~ kao donaI caaihe AaOr p`orNaa BaI , , ,

@yaaoMik p`orNaa panao vaalao kBaI–kBaI Apnao p`ork kao hI Kanao lagato hOM , , ,

rajaoSvar iva&ana kqaaeM ilaKto hOM. ]naka saMga`h BaI p`kaiSat huAa hO. ek SauBa–icantk kI trh ]nhaoMnao mauJao bahut–saI baatoM bata[-MM. eosaa lagata rha ik jaOsao hma ek–dUsaro kao vaYaao-M sao jaanato hOM. ]nakI iht–icanta doKkr yah BaI khnao kI ihmmat nahIM hu[- ik rat kao maOM iD/M@sa laonao ka AadI hUM , , ,. mauJao ibanaa iD/M@sa ko naIMd nahIM AatI , , ,